Spiritual Friendship

Last week in the sermon, I challenged each of you to pay attention to your soul (the container that holds the full you: will, mind and body) and to ask, “How is it with my soul? Really?” I challenged you to consider whether any part of you is broken, in need of healing and wholeness. Then, I challenged you to ask someone you trust to pray for your healing. I challenged you to make your petition specific enough that your spiritual friend/accountability partner could pray for what you most need right now in order to find healing.

One of you contacted me Sunday afternoon and asked how to find a person who could receive this request. I realized this might be a gap for others. So, I want to share a bit about spiritual friendship and encourage you to lean into this gift. If you are blessed to have it, deepen it. If you don’t yet have it, seek it out through prayer and openness.

There is actually a long tradition in Christianity of trusting another person to care for your soul, just as you care for theirs. In Celtic Christianity, this person was called, “anmchara.” More recently, the term, “spiritual friend,” has been used. Thomas Merton says, “Friends interested in each other at the soul level do not simply look at each other’s lives and listen to each other’s explanations. They look together at this third thing...and in that mutual gaze they find and sustain their friendship.” I love that explanation because it gives me an image of how absolutely central God is in both creating and sustaining a spiritual friendship. This friendship does not exist for the purpose of either person. It exists for the purpose of what God is doing in the world through the lives of the two people.

It probably goes without saying, but finding this friendship begins with prayer. Ask God to create the right hunger or desire for such a friendship. Then, ask God to heighten your awareness of who might be this person in your life. Finally, trust that God will provide because this friendship is about so much more than just meeting your needs. It is about serving God’s purposes in the world. Notice when you are drawn to a person’s inner spirit. Notice when God puts someone on your mind, specifically drawing you to pray for that person. Notice when you find someone whose heart beats in cadence with yours.

This is a person who will bring experiences in your life that will teach you both. This is a person who will ask you hard questions about your life with God, but provide a safe space for you to answer -- and you will do the same with her/him. A spiritual friendship can only be sustained by God, but it does take intentionality on your part as well as on the part of your friend. Make sure there is a specific time (weekly is best) where you talk to each other about how it is with your soul. Make sure you know how this person can pray for you, and you know how to pray for her/him. Make sure you hold your friendship with open hands, trusting that God will guide and lead it. And, of course, make sure you express thanks to God and your friend, as often as possible for the gift of anmchara.

This is the person who can help you heal more than any other. Sometimes, our brokenness is deeper than we will ever be able to heal by ourselves, or even one-on-one with God. Sometimes, we’ll have to ask for the prayers of another to mend our broken places. This is what James meant when he said, “Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another because the prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective.”

Faith, I hope and pray for each one of you to have a spiritual friend in your life. The person who offers this to me is essential. We visit weekly and pray together. She is the person I call or text when I need prayer. She is the person I trust to help me discern God’s call upon my life. I truly do not know how I could hold onto my faith if it weren’t for her. I know God would make a way because God always makes a way. Right now, that way is my spiritual friend. I hope you have one or will be blessed with one as an avenue of God’s healing and restoration in your life.

This Sunday, we’ll be tackling what it takes to heal in our relationship with God, and how Jesus provided that for us once and for all. Without this healing first, all other healing will only be skin deep.

Trunk-or-Treat is this Sunday, Oct. 24, 3:00-4:30 pm. Join us around the back of the building, by the Annex, and celebrate being together. Remember, one of our core values is, “Come as you are.” I can’t wait to see you on Sunday!

Peace,