Hard Weeks
Some weeks are just harder than others. I know that you have had this experience as well. Today I had a phone call about an eleven year old who tried to commit suicide. My heart aches for her pain and grief and that she felt so deeply that this was her only choice. In a world that can be so beautiful, it can also be filled with pain and darkness. Tending our souls and caring for our bodies are two of the ways that I know to battle the darkness. But people are often bombarded with messages about self-worth that come from families, friends, media and those they encounter at school or work. Sometimes it is just hard to love ourselves and believe that we have value. My faith in God helps me with an understanding that I am worthy of love. I am not sure how I would manage if I hadn’t had that message of love and worth shared with me so early in my life.
Mark Fowler and I have been tackling tough questions asked by the youth about God, sin, love, and how God works in the world. These are difficult to answer in a way that can be easily digested and understood by 12-18 year olds in basically 5-10 minutes. But it is important work and we know that it will launch more questions asked by them as they wrestle with understanding God and how God works. But there comes a point where we just have to admit that this is our current best guess and we can’t always have answers to our questions. Sometimes we have to have faith.
And faith is hard when we need answers or we yearn for control. Faith is hard when we have been on a diet of darkness and our souls are battered and bruised. Faith is hard when we are hurting or our loved ones are hurting or when we feel completely alone. And that is when I am so grateful to have a community that reminds me of the light in the darkness when I can not find it on my own. Those who see me and let me fall apart and hold me together when I can’t do it alone.
A friend called me to tell me another friend had died yesterday. My first reaction was denial because I had just talked to him a month ago. I said “It can’t be true.” But he sent me the post from our friend’s oldest son who said that he had died that morning peacefully in the hospital surrounded by his family. I am still shocked by the news. Even when my logical mind knows that people die every day. So this week has been hard and I wanted to say to you, don’t try to do the hard weeks alone. Let us help. We want to hold you together, love you and do everything we can as your people-your community. None of us are so together that we don’t need God and each other.
Sometimes holding so many people and their hurts can be overwhelming and it takes work for the staff and clergy to care for themselves in the midst of caring for those in the church. It is a gift to be trusted with so much.
Here are a couple of songs that I love that help me when I am struggling with darkness. I hope you enjoy them.
This Is Me- I referenced this one in a sermon recently from the soundtrack to The Greatest Showman. The singer plays the part of the bearded woman who claims her worth. It reminds me of the old DC Talk Christian song Jesus Freak.
My Feet Are On The Rock- this is a song we have sung in church and I wake up to every morning.
Worthy by India Arie who is wonderful if you have never heard any of her music.
Please pray for these families that I have mentioned and for all of the people who have had a hard week.
