Courage to Listen
Yesterday, I had lunch with Oklahoma City University’s new president, Ken Evans, and the Vice President of University Advancement, Lynann Sterk-Brooks. They stopped by the church so they could see our building and connect more deeply to our context. The question they asked was, “How can OCU support you in the difficult conversations consuming the United Methodist Church?”
I had to admit my surprise. First, it is not often that an organization we support through our apportionment dollars asks, “How can we support YOU?” It does happen. Circle of Care was so great to support us as we recruited foster families a few years ago. Restore Hope has always helped us with our mission projects. So, it happens, just not often. I didn’t know what to say when OCU asked how they could support us as we navigate the uncertainty of the denomination.
I shared with Ken and Lynann our experience of Holy Hard Conversations in the fall of 2018. I explained how proud I was of Faith for engaging the tough topics of ordination and marriage for LGBTQ folks within our denomination. I bragged on you, Faith! I told them how you were brave enough to stay in conversation with each other -- and how your pastors (James, Heather, Yvonne and me) led a tough conversation with the scriptures about this topic.
That experience feels like a world away. So much has happened in the last three years. But, you know what remains? Having tough conversations is still, well, tough. I thought about the sermon from last Sunday and the courage candor takes. Candor is not brutal honesty. Candor is not permission to unload. Candor is telling the truth in a way that moves the relationship forward. Right now, that feels almost impossible with such deep divides and protected bunkers of ideas and ideologies.
So, what do you do? Do you just stop having conversations when there is a possibility of it turning ugly? That doesn’t feel like the right choice to me. For me, courage starts with listening.
Three Weeks to Listen
Friends, we have a tremendous opportunity to listen during the event hosted by our United By Christ faith group called, “Listening to Learn.” In honor of Hispanic Heritage Month, the current 3-week event honors the Latino or Latinx experience in the United States. The first panel discussion was this past Tuesday evening and it took courage to listen.
Tuesday evening, I had to be accountable for the assumptions I am allowed from my position of privilege. I was also stretched by the faith positions and convictions expressed by our panelists. In my life of faith, I feel called to focus on the now and the not yet of the Kingdom of God. It doesn’t feel responsible, from my seat, to see ethnic sorting as a sign of the end times. I disagreed, deeply, with the speaker’s theological viewpoint -- but does that mean I don’t need to hear the life experience that shaped his viewpoint? Hmmm. I think not. I’m pretty sure that listening is as courageous as any speaking I might ever do.
Courage, according to Tom Berlin’s book, is not something we create or will to happen. Courage is what we uncover in our honest encounters with tough truths or situations. It takes courage to listen. It takes courage to hear someone else’s truth when it is so different from mine. It takes courage to face the enormous uncertainty of the future. It takes courage to hold out hope when the flame died a long time ago. Still, that kind of courage calls to me. I want courage that looks like the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. I hope you’ll join me in making ourselves available for courage like that.
As an ask for Christ-centered service, one of my colleagues, Rev. Twila Gibbens, told me she is coordinating the transportation efforts to serve 800 Afghans being resettled in Tulsa in the coming days. She has asked churches to loan their vans for this purpose and to recruit van drivers who would help with the task. I know we can offer our vans for this purpose. If you are available to drive, please email me so we can offer assistance to our new neighbors.
I wish you peace on the 2nd day of autumn,
